Being first among friends with a baby means some strains along the way

Copyright © 2009 The Canadian Press.
About three weeks after my son was born I went out to meet a friend for coffee. It took Herculean effort to get out the door — finding sweatpants that fit over my yo-yoing waist and a hat to cover my dirty hair, strapping my protesting infant into a carrier, packing diapers and blankets and pacifiers - and by the time I got to the cafe I was a sweaty, anxious mess.
My friend was wearing heels and looked sickeningly well rested.
"Oh!" she said, "I didn't know you'd be bringing the baby!"
No, I thought I'd just leave him home alone, tended by our cats.
But I couldn't blame my friend. Until you have one of your own you can't fully appreciate how significantly a child changes your life. It doesn't really sink in that the baby - your baby - is your responsibility every single minute of the day. In fact there's a lot about having a kid that's just unknowable before you have one.
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